So this weekend we received our transfer calls and there will be some big changes! Sister Hastings and I will unfortunately no longer be companions and she is being transferred to a different city to finish her training. I was pretty bummed at first that I wouldn’t be able to finish training her. But then I found out that I am getting transferred back into the Visitors’ Center as the Sister Training Leader in the Idaho Falls Zone/Visitors Center, with Sister Coutinho (a sister in the VC from Brazil) !!!! I was not expecting this at all. I’m kinda nervous, but I am really excited! The thing that is different about it though is that I will be going back to serve in the area I previously served in for almost 5 months. So it will be nice to know the area really well and return with more experience. I have learned so much in just this past month of being in full proselyting and I am really looking forward to apply all I have learned into the Idaho Falls stake, an area in which I loved, where I will be serving again 🙂 And I get to put my American flag back on my tag!
I really am sad to leave Sister Hastings and the Rosepark ward. I only served there for a month, yet have enjoyed it more than any other month in my mission. It has been SO difficult, by far the hardest four weeks. I was up and down all of the time, but I had an amazing companion always supporting me, and so many tender mercies from the Lord. Like I said, I cannot believe how much I have learned and experienced. I have also loved serving for this short time in an area where my family history is linked back to- how cool is that? I really will be missing hearing Sister Hasting pronounce certain words in her Canadian accent though… like “adult” “bag” and “tag”. And her always referring to the bathroom as the “washroom” haha.
This week I had a not so fun, yet great experience. I felt super sick on Tuesday but I kept working hard through our day. We taught some people, yet afterwards I felt awful. Not just physically, but spiritually. Our lessons did not go nearly as well as they could have and I was really sad. Because I have came to love the people we teach so much, and I only wanted them to feel the spirit and have an inspiring lesson. As we were walking home I Sister Hastings and I were trying to figure out what could have gone better and we came to the conclusion that we didn’t pray before our lessons and the the spirit was not directing us in our teaching. It was such a little thing to forget, but man it really effected the lessons! We were sitting in their house just trying to figure out what to say next. You can feel the difference in trying to teach a lesson and trying to teach people by the Holy Ghost. I hated the feeling afterwards of just feeling lost. We really do need to be praying for guidance at all times so that we can feel the Holy Ghost in our lessons.
So although I was totally hard on myself which is a silly thing because I should have just gotten over it and simply learned from the mistake, but it really upset me. That night when I went to sleep I felt even more sick and I couldn’t sleep. But I also just felt super down on myself, not just for messing up, but more on the fact that I have felt like my whole mission there has been something missing. I have always felt like there is something more I should be doing that I have not been, but I’ve never figured out what it is. I have felt like I am constantly being stretched and learning, but never really growing.
The following day, I spent sleeping on the couch (which is no fun as a missionary because all you want is to be outside teaching people), having to rest and take things easy. I hated every moment of it, yet by the end of the day, I knew that both my companion and I needed the rest to regroup. I felt so much better and also felt like I received my answer. I didn’t want to stress out about my answer too much, so I waited till the next day, when I was feeling better, if the answer I received was the right one. That next day was Zone Training and the Spirit during the meeting was SO strong. I truly felt like I had received the right answer. My answer was bold, yet simple. I need to rely on Jesus Christ more, that is it. I pondered this for a while and then continued my week making this change, by relying on Jesus Christ even more so. All I can say is that by doing so, I feel so much better. I feel way happier. I love the people I teach even more. And I feel like I am finally growing into the missionary I have set out my whole mission to be.
Sometimes change happens fast but growing is a long process. I am so grateful to be a missionary and I couldn’t be happier.
Sister Sarah Miller
Pictures: Exchanges, all the bananas we buy for smoothies, matching rings, zone pictures, a family from the Rosepark ward, baptisms we went to for my past investigators in my last area, ect